Playing at Jakey's 4-Way Grocery

When I was a kid, my great-aunt, Teenie (whose real name is Jakey), owned a gas station in Kilgore, TX. It was just down the road from my grandparents' house. When I was old enough to walk down there, it became the highlight of my visit. My cousins and I would trek through the sticky heat and enter the air-conditioned relief of her store with a dollar or two in our pockets. For me, it was always the same treats, a Chocolate Soldier (a lot like a YooHoo) and a cherry ring pop. Aunt Teenie sat behind the cash register counter and chatted with customers while we picked out our treasure. Sometimes, if I was alone and I could be talked into singing a song to her, she'd give me the drink and candy for free. She taught me songs like 'When the Moon Comes Over the Mountain' and 'Moon River' and I sang Journey's 'Open Arms' to her. It was quite the trading of pop culture between us.

Jakey's 4-Way Grocery has long since closed and time has claimed her wooden siding and roof. Vandals have given her windows a jack-o-lantern appearance and the insides are filled with family member's storage of forgotten belongings. But, she's still beautiful to me. For a girl who grew up in a more suburban setting, the store's rural decline is magical, if not bittersweet.

My parents moved back to Kilgore several years ago and live next door to my grandparents' house. I visited them this weekend and decided to take my two little ones on a walk down to the store to get some pictures.

Release the Kraken

Confession time (again). Right around the time one of my kids turns 15 months, I lose my humanity. Until they reach about 3 years old, I'm befuddled, exhausted, spacey. Symptoms of this manifest themselves in a myriad of ways.

At church, you might be in the middle of a conversation with me and I will, without dismissing myself, scamper away with wide eyes.

On the phone, you might find that you are having a conversation with two people. Or four people. It might sound something like:
"Yesterday I was at the grocery...DON'T STAND ON THE TABLE!...and the avocados were...WE DON'T EAT LEGOS!...such a good...OH NO!...I have to go...**click**

If you have been a victim of either of these situations, my apologies. You see, from 15 months to 3 years old, I feel like my every day is solely devoted to keeping my child alive. Cade in particular. I used to joke about how Stone was going to be the kid who walked out of the house with a cape and a plunger saying, "Don't ask if you really don't want to know, Mom."

But Cade...

You can only childproof your house so much. I can keep him out of sockets and ovens, and most of the time dryers, but try keeping him off couches, tables, cats, piano benches, toilets (older brothers aren't always diligent about closing bathroom doors), and weight benches. I'm convinced that dare devils are really people with faulty depth perception. Think about it.

At any rate, now that it's summer, I have some back up to help me chase him from one near-death feat to another. Pearce and Cole are invaluable partners in the cause of keeping Cade alive. When Stone was this age, we lovingly called him Babyzilla. But that term doesn't do Cade justice.

We spend our days getting from morning to nap time and then again to night-night time. And each time we let him out of his crib, someone yells, "Release the Kraken!"

Parenting by Force

I have super cool kids. Not perfect kids. I mean I can't get sappy on you and say they are little angels. They are more like imps. Or, starting into my Star Wars themed posting, they are more like Ewoks. Cute, but impish. Yes, that's a better description. In Pearce's case, though, he's less Ewok and more Anakin.

***If you are Star Wars illiterate, please see the glossary below***

Without going into detail (because you really don't want to know how Pearce got himself in trouble this time), I had to find a way to convey how important it was to trust your parents. How important it was to have your parents' trust. And, conversely, how damaging/dangerous it is NOT to trust your parents. And that's where my streak of brilliance became clear.

I sat in a conversation with him that would have looked to an outsider like a monologue on my part. Pearce sat hunched, embarrassed, resentful while I prattled on about the value of trust and the perils of lying...blah...blah...blah...
I saw his eyes glaze over and I knew the conversation was over. So, I stood and told him that I was done with what I needed to say. That if he wanted to talk to me about the importance of honesty between us, he could come to me at any time. I gave him the choice and I went on with my day.

Later, in the car, he told me he was ready to talk about trust and to be completely honest with me. This is where the lightbulb officially went *ding*!!!

I asked the boys if they remembered when Anakin started to be confused by the Emperor. He started by making decisions that he didn't feel good about, but he was told that he would have something good from it (in Ani's case, the equivalent of super powers in the force). I asked, "Do you remember while that was happening what you felt every time he had a conversation with Obi Wan or Padmé? Do you remember when she asked him, 'Ani, what's wrong?' what you wanted him to do?" Both boys passionately recalled how they wanted Anakin to TELL SOMEONE! They said, if he had just been honest with Obi Wan or Padmé, he wouldn't have gone to the dark side! That Obi Wan and Padmé loved him and would have helped him. (Can you see my brilliant conversational arc ahead?)

I asked whether they thought Obi Wan and Padmé had Anakin's best interests in mind. They said yes. I asked whether they thought the Emperor had his best interests in mind. They said, "No! He was using Anakin."

I told them that the world was the Emperor. I explained that by 'the world' I meant anyone who tried to get them to do something that they knew wasn't right. I told them that anyone who tried to get them to do something against their better judgement did not have their best interests in mind (just like the Emperor) even if they were offering something in return. Then, I explained how as a parent, all I had was their best interests in mind. I finished by saying, "I'm your Obi Wan." They looked at me with wide eyes, so I repeated it.

"I'm your Obi Wan."

So, this is my new parenting technique. Parenting by Force (also known as the Obi Wan Parenting Method):

I will only tell you the truth.
I will allow you to learn hard lessons and love you through your mistakes.
I will protect you from things that are over your head.
I will teach you how to use your powers for good and how to trust yourself.
I will love you enough to take a lightsaber through the midsection for you.

Wouldn't that make a great poster? Might happen.

Star Wars term glossary:

Anakin - a heroic, but confused character who succumbs to the draw of the 'dark side' of the force. He eventually becomes Darth Vader.

the Force (as defined by Obi Wan Kenobi) - "The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together."

Obi Wan - a major character in the Star Wars films who mentored both Anakin Skywalker and Luke Skywalker. He's the equivalent of Gandhi and Bruce Lee mixed together.

Padmé - also known as Queen Amidala. She was the Queen of a planet and a politician. She fell in love with Anakin Skywalker and became the love of his life (and mother of Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia).

The Emperor - the main antagonist in the film series.

Ewok - let's just let the picture define them