I have been a faithful supporter and helper of Santa since I had my first child. I like working with Santa, he's consistent. A real stand up guy. Comes once a year, is always quiet, and always leaves a lovely note for the boys in addition to their favorite gifts. Great guy, Santa.
The Tooth Fairy, however, is a real flake.
Yesterday, Stone came downstairs and proclaimed, "Cade slapped me in the mouth and my loose tooth fell out!" After understanding the slap was accidental and part of general roughhousing, we rejoiced over the lost tooth, the super cute snaggle-toothed grin, and the impending growth of the piggy bank via the Tooth Fairy. We put the tooth in a little plastic baggie and he went directly to his room and placed it under his pillow.
And that's the last time the Tooth Fairy thought of it. WHY didn't the Tooth Fairy set an alarm? Or a task on his/her fairy-phone with an audible reminder???
This morning, Stone came into our room asking some very tough questions. Why hadn't the Tooth Fairy taken the tooth? Was it because it was in a plastic baggie? Was it because he slept with his head on the opposite side of the bed with his head on a different pillow?
Chad and I looked at each other with wide eyes that screamed wordless messages of guilt and blame. Once Stone had exhausted his questions and we had offered lame suggestions as to the Tooth Fairy's flakiness and possible tooth extraction rules and regulations; we decided to go ahead and fulfill the Tooth Fairy's duties right then and there. Maybe the Tooth Fairy had been delayed by a polar vortex. Chad slipped money under Stone's pillow and removed the tooth. Then he left for work with a casual, "Stone, you might want to double check your pillow before you go to school to make sure the Tooth Fairy wasn't just late."
15 minutes later, Stone's demanding voice was carrying over the shower wall. "Mom, my tooth is gone and there's money. Who is doing this? Did the Tooth Fairy come late? Did Daddy do this? I don't understand how the Tooth Fairy works."
There were more lame suppositions on my part. Maybe she was confused by the fact that his head wasn't on the pillow? It CERTAINLY (heavy with over-played drama) wasn't Daddy. He had left long ago and I had been getting ready the whole time.
After minutes of this conversation, I finally heard resignation in his little voice. Then he said, "It's a dollar. And it's dirty and old. Does the Tooth Fairy give away old, dirty money?"
I consider myself to be a quick-thinking, creative mom. I'm rarely stumped by my children. But, I have to tell you how grateful I was that there was a shower wall hiding my expression at this question. What kind of Tooth Fairy runs late and gives old, dirty money?
I don't know the answer to this question. Maybe it's the same Tooth Fairy who once left too much money for a tooth that was swallowed. Or the one who left money, but couldn't find the tooth without waking up the child, so just left the tooth under the pillow with the money. Or the one who only ever came to Mom's house and never went to Dad's house (this was a Pearce and Cole phenomenon). Or the one who once dove to the ground and waited there for what felt like an eternity in order to escape being discovered by a waking light-sleeper...
Basically, the Tooth Fairy sucks. Big time.
