Lost - an alternate universe of my own

I know. You are used to humor. And maybe I'll throw some in here so you don't feel shell-shocked. Waylaid. I'm convinced there's a worm hole at the entrance of Pearce's school. I wake him up each morning and he stumbles into the kitchen with sleepy eyes and bed head and hugs. He still looks like a boy in the morning. He gets ready by himself - never has to be redirected anymore (ok, sometimes I have to knock on the bathroom door when the shower time goes past 10 minutes). He gets in the car and we talk, laugh, banter on the way to school. He gets out of the car, tells me he loves me and enters school...

...and becomes a clownish, distracting, unfocused menace to society. Just this year we've had two detentions, two referrals, multiple phone calls and emails from not just one, but three, teachers. What happens to my son upon entering the school? Remember my post about body snatchers? I'm convinced my theory is wrong as he's still my Pearce at home. Why can't I get through to him? Do you know how hard it is to punish him when he acts pretty awesome around me? Can you imagine how confused I am to learn that these problems are occurring? I'm exhausted from thinking about it, trying new methods of encouragement, consequence, reasoning. I live in dread of the school's phone number. And there are no positive messages coming from the school, so this year has just beaten me down. Can he really be that bad a kid and me not know it? Am I being duped by my child? Is an 11-year-old capable of keeping up a perfect farce at home? I don't know anymore.

Why does he have this split personality?

Two words.

Worm hole.

The Best Milkshake in the World

Saturday, I'm heading to Carlsbad Caverns with my mom, my two oldest boys, and my niece. I haven't been since I was around 14. I'm looking forward to seeing it with adult eyes. At 14, I was looking past stalagmites to see if there were any cute boys my age also touring the cave. Guano was mildly interesting - mostly because I've always been amused with potty humor and, come on, bat poop being used for scientific purposes is kind of funny. I also vaguely remember stalactites shaped like inappropriate body parts. I might even still have a picture of a giggling me standing in front of a calcium carbonate breast.

Mostly, though, I remember the milk shake at the end of our descent into the earth. That milkshake was the single best milkshake I'd had in my long 14 years. And to this day, I know I haven't found a milkshake to compare to it.

So, I'm looking forward to several things. For one, my mom told me that she was in charge of discipline, so I get to be fun mom (and aunt). That means cannonballs in the indoor pools, potty humor galore, and lots of jokes at Muddy's (my mom) expense. I'm looking forward to seeing my kids discover Carlsbad and see how the differ or compare to me as a kid. I 'm looking forward to getting some pictures of the cave with a digital camera (maybe even of some calcium deposit body parts or bat poop). Mostly, though, I'm looking forward to the milkshake that is waiting for me. The milkshake that has held my heart captive for 23 years. The milkshake that turned me against all other milkshakes. The Carlsbad Caverns milkshake reward for descending nearly 800 feet into the earth.