The most glorious day ever

**DISCLAIMER** I love my kids. I really do. I have many posts on this very blog that proclaim my love for said kids. I love them more than coffee. More than Star Wars. I even love them more than my camera (horror!). So, to sum up...Who loves her kids? That's right; I do. **DISCLAIMER**

Today I had the most glorious day ever. I don't even know how to describe it or what part of it made it so spectacular. But, to start, it was JUST ME. Alone. Singular.

Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself in my excitement to share with you.

Chad and I are in San Antonio. He's at a technical conference and I came with him to have a mini vacation. He went to class today and I grabbed Baxter and drove out to the San Antonio Missions National Park.

Ok, now we are caught up. Back to being alone. Several times today, I had the 'Oh no - where are the kids' panic moment followed by the blissful 'Dori, you are completely by yourself right now' moment. It's like being dipped into a pool of ice and then wrapped in a blanket fresh out of the dryer. There were times when I sat on benches and closed my eyes just to take in the awareness of 'being.'

I know that being a mom is rewarding and that my kids add endless entertainment to my life, but there's a sacrifice in parenting. You give up a certain amount of yourself to do it. Maybe not give it up, but definitely set it aside (where it becomes dusty and outdated). Today, I was free to remember something - I am me outside of my roles. In other words, I'm Dori. Not mom, wife, daughter, friend, crazy blogger, but Dori. Being alone with yourself on a beautiful October day surrounded by 300 year old Spanish missions is restorative. I feel filled back up with a sense that I'm not lost, I'm just traveling several roads at once.

As I touched those stones that had been there so much longer than me, that had been there before the roads, the 7-11 across the street, the power lines above them, the business of tourists, I had one of those zoomed-in moments. I was aware that, by touching it, I was a part of that building's 300 year old history, and yet I was separate from it (as it was from me). It's that way with my life. I'm part of a history I'm making in these roles I play, but I am separate from them, too. I'm me.

It was nice to spend a day apart from my roles. A day with just me. A most glorious day indeed.