Princess Generation Agitation

As the mother of four boys, it's natural to wonder about my future daughters-in-law. What will they be like? What will their interests be? Will they have a sense of humor? What flavor will they add to our family's crazy soup? I spend time trying to raise my boys to be independent and self-sufficient. I want them to fall in love without the apron string attachment to a mother. I'm as intentional as I know how to be in raising them to be the kind of men who will enjoy their lives and their future partners without mommy issues.

And that is why I'm so concerned about this Princess Generation. A generation of pink, tiara-wearing, frilly, lacy girls with major expectation issues.

I know that Cinderella and Snow White were around in my day. And I can't say I was immune to the lure of the white dress and the perfect wedding day. But did you know Disney went from $300 million to $4 billion since they began marketing their female characters as 'Disney Princesses'? Did you know that Disney has a line of wedding gowns? You go to their site and 'choose a princess' to view a gown.


I think the future generations of men owe Disney execs a good punch in the nose. While I am training my boys to lower the toilet lid and do their own laundry, a generation of girls is being taught they deserve to be put on a pedestal and that Prince Charming exists to make all their dreams come true.

Where are the tomboys? Where are the girls who can climb trees and play football? Where are the girls who come home with scraped knees and messy hair? Where is this girl?



Don't get me wrong, not all princesses are bad influences. I just think we are focusing on the wrong ones. If you want your daughter to love a princess and still grow up to be the kind of woman who challenges conformity and doesn't rely on my son to fulfill her every wish, please let me introduce to you Princess Leia. A princess your daughter can look up to. Brassy, independent, commanding; all while still managing to stun men with her beauty. And sure, she needed re s cuing, but it was from imprisonment for leading a revolution against an evil empire. This the kind of princess I want for my boys.



Maybe it would be helpful to see the difference between a Disney Princess Wife and a Princess Leia Wife. Here are some examples of situations between a husband and either kind of wife:

Scenario 1
Husband: "Hey, I'm thinking about going deer hunting with Dad. Sure would be nice to have some venison this year.
Princess Leia Wife: "Here, use my gun. Your gun doesn't have the firepower necessary to bring a deer down in one shot."
or
Disney Princess Wife: "Hunting? How can you go out and kill the innocent animals of the forest? How can you murder Bambi? You obviously aren't the man I thought you were."

Scenario 2
Husband: "Hey, I'm thinking about getting a motorcycle. What are your thoughts on that?"
Princess Leia Wife: "I grew up riding four wheelers with my dad in the woods, so I know first hand how awesome it feels to have the wind in your hair and speed at your fingertips."
or
Disney Princess Wife: "Motorcycles are for thugs! And they are dangerous. And if you get hurt, who will draw me a bath of rainwater and take me to Victoria's Secret for more pink nightshirts and rub my feet with lavender oil? You obviously aren't the man I thought you were."

Scenario 3
Husband: "For my birthday, I'd really like to stay in and hang out. You alright with that?
Princess Leia Wife: "Sure, and I can bring out the gold bikini if you want."
or
Disney Princess Wife: "But I thought we'd go out on a date. It's a special night and we should celebrate by going to my favorite restaurant and then to the new Matthew McConaughey movie. You obviously aren't the man I thought you were."

Please, I beg you, if you are one of the parents raising daughters ; go the route of Princess Leia. Teach your daughters about the princesses that are awesome.

**Oh, I forgot to tell you! I wrote this last week, but wanted to tweak it before posting it. After I sent it to my mom to proof read, I opened Parenting Magazine and on page 20, there was a little article about this same stuff. Their top pick for Power Princess - you know it - Princess Leia.**

Loves like a hurricane

Sometimes, I find a Christian song I love, but doesn’t make complete sense to me. David Crowder’s music does this to me a lot. For instance, he sings a song called How He Loves Us (written by John Mark McMillan) that has been a favorite of mine since I heard it the first time. But, I admit some of the concepts in the song are lost on me. For instance:

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.

Loves like a hurricane? I am a tree? That sounds really scary. And painful. And not at all like the image of a cuddly, lovable God I’ve created and put in a nice mental gift box.

And further in the song

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest

I’m not used to words like ‘sinking’ and ‘violently’ used in a positive connotation in my Christian rock. So, I’m loving the song and just ignoring the scary words that vary from my experience of God.

I have to give you a little background before I continue. I’m a believer because I have felt God. I know people believe for different reasons, but mine is a feeling thing where I’ve felt his presence in me and around me. Over the years, I’ve felt him more sporadically, and thankfully I’ve had wise spiritual friends who’ve taught me through scripture that I won’t always feel God, but he’s nevertheless always there. I’ve disciplined myself to worship even in the dry spells. I’m thankful to have learned that lesson. But this latest dry spell has lasted so long, I feel like a cartoon character dragging myself across the desert toward more desert with no oasis (or even mirage) in sight. You can bet I’ve been praying for God to throw me a tidbit of instant gratification. I’ve argued that he created me with the ADHD and he needs to accommodate it. I’ve begged to feel him again; to have my thirst quenched; to feel the relief of a sprinkle in the desert.

Yesterday, God answered my prayers. And I have to say, I know his timing is perfect, but it’s not always my favorite.

More background needed. When I started singing with the Praise Team at my church, maybe a handful of people in our congregation sang aloud. On a really good Sunday, you might hear those three or four voices singing loudly, but otherwise, our congregation was VERY quiet. As a Praise Team, we prayed for God’s voice to fill the sanctuary through the congregation. We prayed for God to use us as his instruments. We prayed for God’s spirit to flow in our church and congregation. God’s faithfulness on those prayers is evident. Through the years, the congregation’s voice has become loud enough that we took moments in songs to back away from the microphones to listen to them. Each time we did, I was grateful for the gift of God’s presence and faithfulness.

Back to yesterday. Remember I’m crawling in the desert, desperate for a sprinkling of God’s touch. We sang a song that I love called Mighty to Save (it’s got great lyrics, too). It’s one of my favorite songs because there’s a moment when the song goes from loud to quiet and I back away from the microphone to hear the voice of the congregation. Yesterday, it was a sea of music washing over me. The sound was crushingly beautiful – it was the sound of God’s voice filling the sanctuary. It was the lavish response to my cry for God’s touch. It was a hurricane and I was a tree.

I was overwhelmed. And tears sprang forth. It was like the overflow of the hurricane coming from my eyes. I was unable to continue the song and for the first time since I’ve been in the Praise Team, I was unable to compose myself at all. I was sinking in the ocean of voices, who thankfully finished the song in my place. The congregation became a beautiful metaphor for how God carries us through when we are unable to go further on our own.

I sat down – completely embarrassed – worried I’d made people feel uncomfortable (we aren’t a charismatic church where people freely and openly sob like I had done). It took me awhile to realize the reaction I had was God; the voices were a gift; and being embarrassed was unnecessary. Which brings me to the last lines of the song:

I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about the way…
He loves us.

I get it now. I totally get the lyrics.