Ugliest Halloween Costume Ever (a.k.a. I’m a pretty princess)

Stone asked me on Halloween Day if I would dress up to take him to Trunk or Treat. I told him I thought I could pull something together. He said, “Can you go as a princess?” I replied that I didn’t have time to go get a princess costume, but my thought was, ‘this kid doesn’t know his mama at all.’ He then replied, “Ok, you can just go as a regular human being.” I laughed and said, “So, I can just go like this?” He looked at me with all the incredulousness a 5-year-old can muster and said, “No, with pretty clothes.”

You know how I love to backtrack. My next door neighbors hold a Halloween party every year. They set a theme and I usually let that drive what Chad and I are going to dress up as. Unfortunately, last year Stone was too sick for us to make their party or trick-or-treating. This year, I was too sick to attend their party. But, the theme they picked was People of Walmart. If you don’t know what this is and you want to be truly disturbed, please check out www.peopleofwalmart.com. I had put together our costumes for the party before I got sick and, well, that’s what the plan was. So, Stone was just out of luck.

I took a shower and while my hair was still wet, I got some hair gel and just gooped it on thick. I put mascara on then rubbed it around a little. I put my zebra-striped jammies on and a pink tank top over a black bra Then, I added a fake tattoo. Flip flops with chipped toe-nail polish. No makeup. It was AWFUL. When I was done, I was just so ugly I could hardly look at myself in the mirror. So, naturally, I took this picture and texted it to my husband:

I then trotted into the kitchen to show Stone and he was dismayed beyond belief. He said, “No, mommy. That’s ugly.” And I said, “Well, it’s comfortable, so this is what it is.” And that was the last thing he said to me about the costume.

We went to church and participated in Trunk or Treat where friends of mine looked at me like they had a bad taste in their mouth. Two of my friends didn’t recognize me and thought I was truly a person who needed to take a shower. When I spoke to them and recognition happened, it was my favorite moment of the evening. Well – until later. I’m getting to that.

When we got home, I had a little time to snuggle on the couch with Stone. I was still donning my horrible costume and he still had his cute little bat nose and whiskers on. While we were watching a Funniest Home Video program, he looked up at me and said, “Mommy?” I looked down and answered, “Yes, sweetie?” and he said, “You are beautiful.”

That was all. He looked back at the TV without another word. And I realized; this is the way he sees me. He wanted me to dress like a princess because I’m his beautiful mommy, not because I’m a girl and I need to dress like a princess. I looked down at his blonde head for a long moment and just praised God for him. For that innocent love – for his seeing way past my external appearance.

Next year, I’m dressing up as whatever he asks. Who knows what that might be. If it’s a princess, so be it. I might dress Chad up as a frog to keep some humor in it all, but I’ll be a beautiful princess if my 6-year-old still sees me that way.