Dad

For most of my childhood, I'd have to say that my memories of my Dad were much like our introduction to the Wicked Witch of the East. Except instead of striped stockings and black curly shoes, my dad had hairy legs and boat shoes. And instead of a house, he always had a car on top of him. He was a very capable mechanic, but his true talent under the hood (or car) was creatively crafting expletives. Mastery, I tell you.
He is a legend in my immediate family. An enigma. A puzzle. A Darren McGavin from A Christmas Story-meets-Father Knows Best-meets-Sam Malone...

Interesting facts about my Dad:

• He believes that Easter eggs taste better than plain boiled eggs (even to the point of getting irritated with grandchildren who injure, crush, or in any way waste them).
• He at one point had what I think was an unnatural hatred toward squirrels.
  
• He stayed with me the week after I got home from the hospital with my first three kids (my mom worked in an office and Dad had flexible hours).
  
• He uses the correct number of letters in his speech, just not always in the right words. For instance, he says 'warsh' instead of wash. And 'coner' instead of corner. See? All the letters accounted for, however misplaced.
  

Things I've learned from my Dad:

• 'Painting the town red' is only cool if you do it Clint Eastwood style.
• Being a hunter doesn't mean you can't have a big heart when it comes to ants on wild baby rabbits.
• Real men can decorate (and how).
• Being truly self-confident means being able to laugh at yourself.
  
• Never hold a shotgun several inches away from your shoulder when firing.
• Never drop a shotgun after firing (...after holding it several inches away from your shoulder).
• No matter how much a car is on the verge of breaking, it will ALWAYS happen when Dori drives it.
  
• Real girls love John Wayne and know the theme song to the movie The War Wagon.
• Being a great man is knowing and practicing the art of simplicity. Even if you are a complex person.

Each of these bullet points deserves it's own post, but this is just an introduction. And, it's not even the tip of the iceberg - well, if my Dad's personality were an iceberg.

Hor

We are doing homework - and I'm telling the 2nd grader that I need him to go over his work because he's left the 'e' off of 'like.' The 4th grader (who is smarter than me - smarter than Stephen Hawking) notices that another word needs checking. The 4th grader blurts 'hor!' which makes me jerk my head up to find out what in the heck he's talking about.

Here, I should keep a straight face, but I find myself giggling like a 12-year-old again. And the 4th grader says, "I'm just saying, if you write hor, you're likely to get it wrong." The word was supposed to be 'her.'

Lucky for me, I don't think my kiddos have learned the spelling variation of 'hor' that so shocked me...

Red

I should listen to the wise counsel of experienced new mothers. You ask, "Dori, doesn't having four boys qualify you as an experienced, wise, new mother?" To which I answer, "No, because I believe sharing my body with little testosterone-filled entities has left me less sagacious and more fatuous."

Anyway, today I decided that I needed a new hair color. You'd know - if you spoke to said wise mothers - that making a drastic change to your hair after having a baby is a B-A-D idea. I'm impulsive, though, so it's done. And I'm getting mixed reviews from the personalities that live inside me.

I'd have posted a shot from the front, but baby-weight has made me look startlingly like John Travolta. It would detract from your being able to see the color.

Now, I'm off to get a tattoo.

:)

Mad Hatter

I know I just posted about how my toddler has a glove fetish. But, you know how quickly things change in the toddler world. And, actually, I can brag (as you can see from the pictures) that he hasn't abandoned his gloves, but added to his outfit repertoire.

This first hat is a winter hat I was so excited to get in the mail from Sundance Catalog. It never fit my huge head, so it was sacrificed to the dress-up bin (i.e. my son's bedroom floor). I realize that it looks a bit like a pimp hat.




This is a fishing hat I bought in a pinch at Wal Mart in Arkansas last year. I needed it to keep the sun off my face and head that day. I don't know why, but it really brings out his blue eyes.

Finally, his big brother's baseball helmet, which is his newest favorite. It came in handy last night in the back yard. We were throwing a baseball and it came down on his head. Thonk! He was confused, but unharmed.

Also, I promise that my son wears things other than gloves and hats, I just always seem to be grabbing the camera when he's in a diaper...

Picture day!!

Today is picture day at the soccer fields. I love that is coincides with the Halloween items being available at the store because our uniforms are day-glo orange. So, now, is the hair.

The lion's sacrifice

My toddler's toys are selfless. They endure being chewed, thrown, buried in sand, and drowned in bathwater. The lion, however, was treated today to some trampoline time. I noticed as I was taking pictures that each time my son would fall down, the lion was sacrificed to the air. My child's no dummy - it hurts to fall on hard, plastic safari animals.

If you click on the collage above, you can kind of play a version of Where's Waldo with the lion. I especially like the pictures where it looks like the lion is having fun jumping about. See below if you need help spotting him.

****No plastic lions were injured in the making of this blog****

Camera Reflection

When I was young and I gave my mom major attitude with my facial expressions, she had an interesting, but effective, tool for making me realize how silly I looked. She'd stop and say, "Go look at yourself in the mirror. Right now!"

I hated this for two reasons:
1. I rarely ever got to the mirror without cracking a smile, or
2. I got to the mirror with attitude in tow only to be shocked that I didn't look as cute as Alissa Milano when she gave Tony Danza attitude.

Technology has brought me a step further as a parent. The other day, my oldest was throwing a spectacular hissy and I picked up the camera and captured it. After our altercation was over, I deleted that picture at his request, but here are the pictures that followed it. I think you can tell that he was not happy with his paparazzi Mom!

Here's the first picture taken once he realized that I was capturing him on film...

Here are the pictures I took of him trying to confiscate the camera. Sean Penn has nothing on my child!!!

Halloween!!!

I love Halloween. Cooler weather makes me feel frisky and there's so much to do around here! Our church has a GREAT pumpkin patch and Trunk-or-Treat. There's Boo at the Ft. Worth Zoo. There's Fright Fest at Six Flags.

In previous years, I've gotten excited about being crafty and making costumes and home-made decorations with the kids - only to run out of time and energy because I was working. This year, though, part of my new job description (the one I wrote out for myself) is to do more fun, creative holiday stuff!



I got started with it this weekend. I found this idea in Family Fun Magazine and I love the way it turned out.

Also, I hope it's not a weird superstitious thing to see the trick-or-treater before Halloween, but I can't help but post these pictures because if I know my kid, he won't be this animated and cooperative once the actual holiday gets here.



Note***You can chart Chad's hobbies by observing the Halloween costumes of my toddler. For instance, you can tell that last year (see below), Chad was still into motocross. This year, he is more into fishing.

A pictorial review of my week

This has been a weird week. I'm sure it wouldn't have been as weird with an appropriate amount of sleep, alas...

This past weekend, there was a loud banging noise in our chimney - as if someone were dropping tennis balls down it. Chad walked outside to inspect and this guy was eating his lunch....


Many interesting revelations on either how lazy I am as a mom or how tired I am. For instance, to get my toddler to stop jumping on the new couch, I made it ok to jump on his bed (this is a classic example of redirection gone terribly wrong).



Also, I'm proud to say that he no longer colors on the walls or my books. However, we are still working on acceptable palettes...


My oldest kiddos were able to hold the baby for the first time. Here are some cute shots of that.

And that last picture is of my 10-year-old. I have a double-digit kid. It's a momentous day!

Newest fascination

My toddler has a glove fetish. On my mom's blog (Scary Mom), you'll find a funny post about 'The Glove.' Long story short, I had to order some cotton gloves for him so he wouldn't run me out of the house with the smell of the plastic glove mixed with toddler hand sweat.

I decided to post pictures of the new gloves. In the process of uploading these pictures, I found a theme in my recent pictures. Does my child ever NOT have a glove on? The answer is NO. Even when he sleeps, there's a glove on his hand (again refer to my Mom's blog for funnier details).

Hulk hands count as gloves...

Even just hangin' out watching TV - there's a glove (this is the dreaded stinky glove)

10/14/2008 Update - thanks to Manzo, our youth leader at church, we have a new set of glups (and apparently, a LOT of attitude).

I'm ashamed that I laughed...

I decided to take the two smallest kiddos to Chad's work today. Chad is a systems engineer. People in IT very often have 'geek toys' laying around their cubicles, which is great for entertaining kids when they are around. One colleague had two of these hanging on the outside of her cube...


My two-year-old promptly pointed at them and shouted (and I mean shouted), "I want to touch your monkey!"

I'm not making it up. I had more than three witnesses. There we all were, in a professional setting - reduced to giggling like 12-year-olds.

"TOUCH MY MONKEY!!!!"

What a difference a day makes!

I started this blog to make a confession - that I really don't enjoy the first month of babyhood. Sleep deprivation mixed with a baby who lacks ANY personality makes for a boring 4-5 weeks. Then, I was going to marvel at how, within a day, it all seems to turn around and the baby sort of 'wakes up' and becomes a human. Today, my youngest smiled at me.

At first, I questioned whether I was just wanting it to be a smile, but he did it several times. And he seemed more alert today than ever. Playing and cooing and looking at me with honest recognition. This was going to be a sappy blog about how 'worth it' the first 4-5 weeks are at that moment.

But, before I could get to the keyboard, Chad asked me if I wanted to watch a movie and we did. Chad fell asleep in it and the baby fell asleep on my chest. When the movie was over, I looked down at him and I was struck with a sudden realization - he's my last child.

I felt an overwhelming, bittersweet longing in that instant for the moment to last. He had positioned himself in that ridiculously cute baby curl - little hands under his chin and feet pulled up like a frog. His lower lip was sucked into his mouth and he looked so tiny and doll-like.

Tomorrow he'll be slightly more awake and aware - and even though I get the joy of watching him grow into a personality, he'll never be this small again. Soon, he'll be 10 like his oldest brother. And when he's 10, his oldest brother will be 20. Suddenly, I'm the annoying woman who is telling everyone to 'enjoy every moment because they pass so quickly.' I truly understand it now.

Ten years ago, a sleep deprived me held a colicky infant and wished for him to be older and more fun.
Tonight, I was going to blog something similar, but caught a glimpse of something amazing.
Tomorrow, I'll be more reluctant to want my infant to grow up. I'll have more patience with my terrible toddler. I'll advocate more confidently for the uniqueness of my second grader. And I'll appreciate the subtle, sarcastic defiance of my oldest.

Funny when cliche becomes reality. They do grow up so fast.

One-handed blogging

Living with a newborn can sometimes be like living as an amputee. I've had to learn to do the following skills one-armed:

• brushing my teeth (as well as spitting over the baby's head)
• eating
• reading a book
• washing and sterilizing a bottle (this is especially impressive as he's usually hungry and squiggling)
• picking up dropped pacifiers
• coloring with a two-year-old
• chasing a two-year-old who is running with a sharp object
• wrestling away a diaper from a dog
  
• cleaning out the dishwasher
  
• blogging
  

Things that require me to put him down:

• using the restroom
• drinking my favorite, hot, elixir of life
• cooking at the stove or oven
• driving :)

Things that my parents will say after reading this blog:

• "You are spoiling that child - put him down!"
• "You are probably making his body sore from holding him too much - put him down!"
• "He needs more tummy time - put him down!"
• "You are creating a mama's boy - hand him to me!"