(Here I'd close my eyes, tilt my head to the left, and inner-monologue in my best Dr. Dori(an) voice)
"I wonder why Pearce doesn't just learn from his little brothers that saying 'Yes ma'am' and 'I understand' doesn't make you weak, it just ends the fight quicker. He seems like a pretty smart kid.
Sometimes, I dream of going all Dr. Cox-ian on him. It would go like this:"
"My G-ghawd, Priscilla, what don't you understand about the words, "Don't argue?" I mean, I've been telling you the same instruction for ye-heears and you still aren't getting it. Come on, Patsy, you and I both know who's going to win this argument, so you might as well stop further channeling the voice of Rosie Perez before I do what I dreamed of doing when you had colic - and I say this with all the love in my heart - by getting out a roll of duct tape and covering your mouth and my ears with several layers then playing heavy metal music until the neighbors call police or my ears bleed and I become blissfully deaf.
"Still, Pearce is my little sporty bear. I guess I'll just love him and try to be the best mom I can be."
2 comments:
You're right...I couldn't say that sentence w/o taking a breath! Seeing how much R often seems to be like P, I might need to start practicing some kind of transendentalism for the pre-teen years. (I'm sure I spelled that wrong...)
Looks like your sporty bear needs an older brother to advise him on how to respond with googly eyes and side-turned head like 'I just don't understand what's going on here'. Then 'don't argue' would turn into an hilarious, riotous belly-hurting laughing match. At least, until the next time he argues.
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