Trifecta

The other night at Praise Team practice, my old boss (who is also our sound board guy) was telling us about his bad, stressful week. I shuddered inside because I used to share those weeks with him. I thought about my worst, most recent day...

Stone is potty training, and doing a good job, save for the poop - he just doesn't want to go #2 in the potty. So, I hear him yelling at me from his room and I go to investigate. I find him totally naked and the smell of poop assaults me. Where, I ask myself, are his underwear???

They are upside down on our favorite color book.

And they are stuck to the book with poop.

Now, I forgot to tell you that I'm holding the baby during this. As I bend down to get the underwear with my fingertips, the baby throws up on me. I'd use "spit up" if it applied. My baby went Linda Blair on me. And I was wearing a v-neck. So, now I've got a baby in one hand and a poop-filled pair of Diego underwear in the other hand and baby vomit is running down my front - into my bra, onto my stomach...

I make a dash for the kitchen to throw away the soiled book and undies and grab a paper towel to clean myself.

Let me backtrack a moment here - though I'm sure it will give the next part of my story away. We keep a potty seat in the kitchen to make it easy for Stone to go whenever he wants.

As I'm running into the kitchen, I clip the potty chair.

It isn't empty.

So, now I'm standing in the kitchen with a giggling baby in one hand, poop drawers in my other hand, baby vomit on my front (which has reached my waistband), and my right flip-flop (flip flops being important to your mental picture) and foot soaked with toddler pee.

Lessons learned:

1. Don't leave favorite books (or toys or pets or baby siblings) on the floor during the potty training stage.

2. Clean out potty chairs as soon as pee-pee happens.

3. A good sense of humor (and the promise of a good blog post) is imperative to parental sanity.

4. It was still better than a day in a cubicle.