"Sthuck? Sthuck???"

I started work last week and a few of my friends have told me that they can tell because the funny Facebook statuses and blog posts have all but stopped. Lucky for you, my kids never take a break from...well, being my kids. Thanks to Pearce for giving me a story that should satisfy you for weeks.

I consider myself very lucky. I have four boys and only Pearce has had stitches. Four boys and only Pearce has fractured a bone. Four boys and not one of them has ever had to have the fire department called to rescue him from a school desk. Until yesterday.

I'm sitting in a coworker's cubicle and I get a call from the dreaded number. Pearce's school calling. Again. It most likely means he's forgotten important school supplies or was 'excessively social' during class. I answer and it's the nurse. My first mental reaction is 'Whew...he's not in trouble.' The nurse begins with, "Pearce is fine. Your son is Frank, right? Goes by Pearce? Hold on, I need to make sure I'm talking to the right parent." She yells to someone in the background and comes back to the phone. "Ok, Pearce got his finger stuck in a desk and we tried ice to get it out. We tried soap and oil and are still unable to get it out, so (there's a pause)...we've called the fire department to come and assist and we are wondering if you can come up here."

And there it is. The reason I shouldn't have been relieved that it was the school nurse on the phone. Note to self - just because it's the school nurse doesn't mean my child isn't in trouble.

I call Chad and he comes to my rescue by flying out of his work to the school. He calls to tell me that Pearce is still stuck and that his finger is cut and swollen and that the firemen are deciding what to do. They've moved Pearce and the desk to the nurse's office. I'll just stop so you can enjoy the visual of the vice-principal and Pearce carrying the desk through the halls to the nurses office with his finger stuck in it.

By the time I get through my training (fifth day on the job, just to remind you) and get in the car, they've rescued Pearce from the desk by drilling holes in it then using what they called 'tiny jaws of life' to cut from hole to hole until they can bend it back and remove Pearce's manacled finger.

Chad informs me that he has 'good circulation and can feel the tip of his finger' but that we need to have it looked at by a doctor.

Why did Pearce stick his finger into a hole that was too small for his finger? Because his friend hid popcorn in the desk. Of course. Why did he think he'd be able to retrieve popcorn through a hole that was smaller than the popcorn (and his finger)? Because he's a boy and he has brain damage.

And my husband, the one who heroically left work to fly to Pearce's aid, did not lose his sarcastic wits. He took these pictures for posterity. And for your benefit. Enjoy.




Here he is giving the 'ok' sign. This was what Chad sent me to let me know Pearce was in good spirits.






And here is the finger. The desk top has been removed and you can see that his finger is too swollen to remove. And it's cut at the base where he tried to twist it out of the hole before calling the teacher's attention to his predicament.

There is so much more to this story. How the first fire truck didn't have the right tools and they had to call a second one. How Pearce almost passed out at one point. How the doctor lectured Pearce for 10 minutes about the importance of studying and not messing around in class. So much more, but you got the best part of the story. My kid's the one who got his tongue frozen to the proverbial light pole.